It's been a long time, since l ....

It's been a very long time since l started this blog and so many things have happened. With these changes l have put myself at the bottom of the pile (again) and the weight has crept back on. I now heavier than l was after the birth of my third son. However, l am not as heavy as l was after the birth of my 1st child.

I am now officially on summer holiday. Which means l have 6 weeks to start some new habits before l go back to work. I will also have to work hard on my food prep when l do get back to work. I was so worried about my weight l went and had an appointment with a surgeon about getting a stomach sleeve (that's when they remove 2/3 of your stomach and staple it up). Considering that l have no medical conditions l just couldn't justify the risk. The risk of surgery has to out weigh the gains, and for me the only gains would be easier weight loss.

I also spoke to a great dietitian who said that my healthy base weight way be a lot higher than what is indicated by my BMI. Speaking to her made me look at things differently. She stated that when l was feeling great physically, health wise, was when l was extremely fit.  So today l start trying to pick up my fitness regime. I have been completing my 10K steps a day and doing some basic push ups and sit ups. But l haven't really broken into a sweat.

Also, l am changing my outlook on food. I seem to have a very controlling relationship with food which isn't healthy. Instead l am going to eat what l want, but l am going to think about how it makes me feel. I know that a big massive bowl of fruit salad makes me feel great afterwards, compared to a McDonalds meal.

I have also been drinking way to much alcohol. Again l am going to stop and think before l start. Do l really want this, or can l do something else to make myself feel relaxed. It's summer here in Melbourne at present. So in the evening l have been watering my garden and my youngest normally comes out and joins me and chats to me. It's nice to have sometime outside at the end of the day, rather than sitting in front of some kind of screen.

Today l am 96 kilos and do not feel fit at all. I know l can go for a walk and not get puffed, but l don't feel like l could break into a light jog without falling into a heap. I also want to increase my strength again. These are my goals and ambitions. Next year l am 37. I know it gets harder when you hit 40 so l am really wanting to create this new habits and want them to stick.

Feeling great!!!

I am feeling great! Going back to the gym and cleaning up my diet has made the biggest difference to my energy levels. I thought walking 10K steps a day and doing some body weight exercises (push ups, tricep dips, sit ups etc) was enough. It might be enough to keep up a very base level of fitness but it isn't enough for me.

Just increasing my cardio and lifting heavier weights has made me feel more alive. The new challenge will be keeping this up when l return to work on Thursday. The only way to do that is scheduling it in. I have to stop making excuses. Life is busy, that is a fact! However l always found time for exercise. It has only been the last 3 years that l have found it hard to get around to exercising. When my exercise went down hill so did my eating.

Going back to work has been hard and l thought dropping my exercise will allow me more time. All it did was drain me of energy. Now that l have working for three years l am ready to enter exercise back in without feeling overwhelmed.

I look forward to building the new me. I am more than mum, wife or teacher, l am me and l have to make time to ensure that l am happy and healthy.

Gym

I did it! I joined the gym. That's the first easy step out of the way. Now is just getting myself their and ensuring l am doing a good workout. Felt great and weird to be back in the gym. The weird part was using a treadmill when the weather was gorgeous today outside. The good part was being able to use weights again.

The aim is to walk the kids to school if the weather is nice, then walk to the gym and then walk home. Like that l get my warm up and cool down done and can enjoy the great outdoors. But as winter progresses l will just drive.

It will be interesting to see if the exercise changes my weight loss. This is the first time in my life that my eating isn't too bad but my exercise is letting me down. So it will be interesting to now look to see how it impacts the scales and measuring tape.

I am determined to see 87 kilos on the scales. I have been the same weight now for 4 weeks and have been trying so hard to just drop one kilo but the scales have not budged. Fingers crossed this will kick start the weight loss again.

It's been a long time

It's been a while and a lot has changed. I now work five days a week and l have moved areas. The biggest change is my weight (not in a good way). I got back up to 96 kilos after Christmas. That scared me when l could round up my weight to 100 kilos. So l have gone back to tracking my food and exercise. I am now done to 88 kilos but finding it so hard to drop any further.

I am now at the cross roads trying to work out what l can fit into my schedule to help me lose weight. I would love to join the gym again but l am so uncertain. I know l need to bite the bullet and just do it. The hardest thing for me is justifying the time and expense on me.  I don't know if it's a women thing  mother thing that we feel guilty when we do something for ourselves.

But l guess l would feel more guilty if l was unwell and didn't live as long because l didn't take care of myself.

That's it! l am ending this entry, getting dinner started and heading to the gym to sign up. Wish me luck people.