on the path

Okay l am slowly accepting the a ugly, awful, terrible (l could use more adjectives however you get the gist) truth that l will always have to watch what l eat. It is very hard for me to accept that l can't just eat with out having to think about it. However when l make the comparison to other addicts it does make sense. A recovering alcoholic has to come to terms with the fact that they can't go to a party and just have one or two drinks, because they can't stop themselves. That is how l am with food, once l start to stop thinking about it l slip into bad habits. I am lucky though compared to the alcoholic who could probably never take another sip of alcohol, l can have food l just have to monitor how much l have.

So l am hoping now that monitoring food will become more automatic. When l first learnt to drive a manual car l bunny hopped down the road as l was busy concentrating, clutch in, shift gear, clutch out, accelerator,steer, etc etc. I can now drive my manual car with very little thought of gear changes and in a very smooth fashion (if l do say so myself). This is how l hope to be with food eventually, right now l am bunny hoping down the road, but while l am doing this l am learning. I am making mistakes but l am learning from them. I never thought that losing weight would be such a hard challenge that deals with so much more than food.

To date l am now back to 72kilos yay!!! only three more kilos to be back to where l was this time last year. I now l can do it, even if l have to hop the whole way there.