confession

Well it's time to fess up. I've been slack, really slack. I gave myself a week off for my birthday and then yesterday went to put on a pair of jeans that fitted perfectly to find that they have shrunk. Well it would be nice if it was true but the pants haven't shrunk l have grown and in all the wrong places. It is amazing how quickly it can happen. So today is the beginning once again. If l counted the amount of times l have said that to myself l would be counting for a long time. However it is not how many times you fall off the waggon but how you get back on. Getting back on the waggon now only after a few kilos is easier than 10kilos later. So (gulp) here is goes. I Gabriela am 72kgs today, yes 72kgs. I was shocked when l saw the number appear on the scales, l weighed myself four times in a row to make sure it was correct.

So l have to start all over again, l am not happy with my figure right now, the boobs are good but the rest is not. The tummy is bloated, the thighs are wobbling, the bum is bouncing and worst still my skin has broken out. Yesterday l went to a children's party and over dosed on jelly beans, freckles and pink icing. Within 20mins l had a headache, my stomach blew up to twice it's size and l felt sick and tired. I sculled four glasses of water and went for a long walk and this helped a little bit but l am still feeling the effects today.

I still find myself asking the same questions. Why am l addicted to food, why can others go without it, how can others have a table full of food in front of them and just eat a little and be happy? My willpower is my weakest link, it's time l started to flex so muscle their and hopefully l can get myself back to were l use to be.

Just how big is this battle

So l went to all this effort to put in all of these safe guards so l wouldn't blow out over Christmas. Which as l reported l did not. However after Christmas finished and l thought to myself, l got through that it should be easy now, never say never. I gained weight for the first time ever over the new years eve weekend. Since then l have gained more. I feel like s**t, l have no energy, l feel bloated and exhausted. I haven't been eating crap, l have no crap in the house. Albeit l have been eating huge serves. From about lunch time on l just don't stop eating.

So today l looked at myself in the mirror, looked back at the photo on my blog and saw that l was falling back into nasty habits. Losing weight + maintaining it= dedication. You can never be slack you have to change your life style to suit this, otherwise you are constantly going between feasting and fasting.

So tomorrow l begin to rein it all back in. Smaller portion sizes, more exercise, and no more excuses or hiding. That is my biggest down fall in life. If there is ever a problem, l would rather bury my head in the sand than deal with it. I haven't dared go near my scales for the last four days, because l know they will not lie to me. However if l don't step on them l don't need to know the truth. Not knowing the number does not change the number and l have to start being a big girl and facing all my demons. I will be back in love with my scales again but right now we will call it a truce. For l fear if l see the number l may cry and just revert back to even worst habits. So for now l will stay clear, clean up my act and fingers crossed this time next week l will jump on the scales confident that l will be near to what l was previously.

Every one falls off the wagon, its how you get back on that counts.

NYE

Now it is ticking ever so close to the end of another year. It is also getting closer to millions of people making many resolutions. Now l am not against resolutions, l believe it is important for people to set goals and challenge themselves. However in setting goals many people rush forward and skip two very important steps. 1. To live in the present and try to become better 2. Look back and reflect on what you have learnt and how far you have come. The past is a great indicator of what you've achieved, where you have failed and how you can improve.

Life's lessons are just that 'lessons' and you need to learn from them because if you don't you will continue going around and around and around.

So before l make my resolution l look at the present day, l am 67kgs, the first Christmas ever that l can remember where l did not gain any weight. I have a wonderful family who support me and love me even through all the crazy endeavours and adventures l take them on. I am getting an entire nights sleep with out interruptions for little children. I am into my second year of university studies and enjoying every minute of it. I also live in a fantastic community with a great net work of friends who feel like family. I can not go anywhere in my local area with not seeing one person l know, and l love that.

Now to reflect, l have had a crazy six years with having three children, complete change of career path, massive weight gain going form 63kgs to 118kgs in a period of three years. Moving to a new area, having no friends or support network and no idea what l wanted to do with myself. I remember coming home from the hospital with my first son and looking at myself in the mirror and thinking 'what have l done to myself?' I do know what l did, and many women have done it before me and will continue to do it after me. I lost myself, l gave all of myself to everyone and left nothing behind for me, the only thing that was there for me was food.

My new years resolution is not to 'lose myself again', to constantly discover new things that l can do and achieve both mentally and physically. To also not lose the momentum that l have generated.

I also want to appreciate everyone around me more. I see my children growing so fast and what to spend every moment possible with them and making them laugh. I want to spend more one on one time with my husband and continue to deepen our unbreakable bond. He is the one person who knows me better than me, when l start to do something self destructive he is there holding my hand and guiding me back onto the right path. I also want to spend more time with the girls that have become wonderful friends. Every female needs her friends because sometime men just don't understand what it is like to be a women and a mother. They also do not want to attend chick flicks.

I encourage you all to spend a moment to look at the present, past and future. Every day you should aim to meditate for 5 mins and reflect. Use those 5 mins to help you refocus and  listen to your inner voice. Sometimes you invoice only whispers to you and you need to be still and quite to hear it, but it always there.

I hope 2012 allows you to discover the most wonderful person you will ever know, YOU!

Happy new year

close to a new year

We are heading full steam ahead into a new year. I look back and reflect on all that l have achieved this year and l am amazed how much you can stuff into one year. Life at present couldn't be better. Albeit l have not reached my goal of 60kgs, l am still 67kgs and will maintain this weight now until the new year. 2012 will be the year l will lose those 7kgs and maintain that weight.

My two weight goals are 65kgs by my birthday which is 4th of February and 60kgs by October. That is plenty of time for me to then maintain that weight leading up to Christmas.

Next year brings the new challenge of working for three weeks which will change bootie camp session but fingers crossed the girls will still show up after school for a work out and maybe l can sneak out before anyone rises in the morning for some early morning jogs.

One thing l have learnt that exercise does help the shape of my body and my mental state of mind. However it is what passes my mouth that makes the biggest difference when it comes to my weight. I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog and follow me on my journey into 2012.

Turn your cant into can

Well only a few weeks left till my dead line. I am still 67kgs, which l am chuffed about. I am glad that l have managed to maintain my weight with out going back into old habits. Last time l went on a weight loss goal when l reached it l fell pregnant and soon found many excuses to gain weight back. This time there will be no more babies, no more excuses. I quote " She turned her cant into can and her dreams into plans". That is how l feel right at this very moment.

For once l am extremely happy with all of my efforts, l have worked bloody hard this year and it has paid off , in more ways than l could of ever excepted. I am excited to be moving forward on this new chapter of trying to maintain my weight as my schedule becomes even more complicated. But l will continue to to turn cant into can and my dreams into plans. Watch out world my Dreams are huge so just you wait and see what is coming around the corner.

So l have a few weeks left to try and lose a few more kilos. I know their is a good chance l wont reach the target of 60kgs, but l am not ashamed. Last time l was 60kgs was when l was 16. If l can reach 63kgs which is the weight l was when l first met my husband l will have the best Christmas present of all.

My body has changed a lot since l was last this weight. I always worked out but never achieved the current muscle mass l currently have. My arms and back are taking shape nicely, now if my bum and thighs would kindly follow l will be a very happy girl.

Here's to dreaming big! Cheers

back to 67kgs yay!!!

Im am back to 67kgs, my husband assures me that the new scales are no different than the old ones because his weight never moves and he was the same weight on the new scales as the old ones. I also found my measurements from my 67kg wait previously and they match up with my current measurements. So yay, yay, yay, l am back on target to goal 60kgs by Christmas. Which is less than seven weeks away. Seven kilos in seven weeks, l can do this.

It really all comes down to food choice and portion control. It is amazing how much this impacts my weight. As l get closer to my goal it will get harder to lose the weight, it will also be a big adjustment trying to maintain the weight. I haven't been 60kgs since l was 19, so it will be interesting to see how l go. Hopefully 2012 will bring a new year of new habits, one's that don't revolve around food and the kitchen.

I have been so absorbed by my children and husband doing this weight loss challenge has allowed me to get to know myself again. I had forgotten about ME whilst caring for everyone else. But how l am to tell my children they have to look after themselves when l wasn't looking after myself. With discovering myself again l now have a different outlook and look forward to see what challenges await.

New scales and they are kinder

I purchased new scales today. The last ones went to heaven after my cleaning efforts on Tuesday, how was l suppose to know that you shouldn't bleach them? Anyway l purchased new scales today, same brand but different model. The only problem is that my yard post hasn't moved but the tool l am using to measure this has, and these scales are far kinder. I jumped on them today and my current weight is 68kgs. I know l could not of dropped from 71kgs to 68kgs in five days. I may dream of weight loss like that but l know it is not possible for me to achieve. Whilst l am happy to report l am 68kgs l cant help thinking about what l would of been on my old scales. Luckily l have been taking my measurements so l this will be a better indicator on how l am going.

So l am now back on target to be 60kgs by Christmas thanks to my kinder scales.

I finally went to do the boxing class again this morning and once again needed to take a asthma pump six times to get to the end. I do not know what it is with this one class, but it is the only class that pushes me past my VO2 max. This does not feel comfortable. Albeit to see results you need to do this, so l now declare l will be attending the boxing class from now on. If l don't challenge myself l wont improve.