So l went to all this effort to put in all of these safe guards so l wouldn't blow out over Christmas. Which as l reported l did not. However after Christmas finished and l thought to myself, l got through that it should be easy now, never say never. I gained weight for the first time ever over the new years eve weekend. Since then l have gained more. I feel like s**t, l have no energy, l feel bloated and exhausted. I haven't been eating crap, l have no crap in the house. Albeit l have been eating huge serves. From about lunch time on l just don't stop eating.
So today l looked at myself in the mirror, looked back at the photo on my blog and saw that l was falling back into nasty habits. Losing weight + maintaining it= dedication. You can never be slack you have to change your life style to suit this, otherwise you are constantly going between feasting and fasting.
So tomorrow l begin to rein it all back in. Smaller portion sizes, more exercise, and no more excuses or hiding. That is my biggest down fall in life. If there is ever a problem, l would rather bury my head in the sand than deal with it. I haven't dared go near my scales for the last four days, because l know they will not lie to me. However if l don't step on them l don't need to know the truth. Not knowing the number does not change the number and l have to start being a big girl and facing all my demons. I will be back in love with my scales again but right now we will call it a truce. For l fear if l see the number l may cry and just revert back to even worst habits. So for now l will stay clear, clean up my act and fingers crossed this time next week l will jump on the scales confident that l will be near to what l was previously.
Every one falls off the wagon, its how you get back on that counts.
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